Category Archives: Anchors

“Blame It On The Goose, Got You Feeling Loose, Blame It On Patron, Got You In The Zone, Blame It On The A-A-A-A-Alcohol…” – Jamie Foxx

Posted on June 27, 2011 by

“Are you fucking serious?” I shouted at him. Some of the production crew, who had been heading to their cars, were now standing in the parking lot staring at us. “Really, Erik? What exactly do you have to lose? Your amazing job as the weekend anchor of the lowest rated newscast in this small ass town? Or your stellar reputation as a pussy in the newsroom?”

Continue reading →

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“Was It Something I Said, Or Something I Did, Did My Words Not Come Out Right?” – Poison

Posted on June 23, 2011 by

There was nothing left to lose. After all, my boss had just seen me half-naked, mid…uh, make up with my new boyfriend (that the entire station thought I had stolen from someone else), and as soon as the station heard what happened—I was going to officially become the office skank. What else could go wrong? I’d get fired? Big deal. Continue reading →

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“Because You Walk Pretty, Because You Talk Pretty, ‘Cause You Make Me Sick, And I’m Not Leaving Until You’re Leaving…” – Robin Thicke

Posted on February 11, 2011 by

The next thing I knew, the show door swung open, and I was face-to-face with Julie. She looked me up and down, taking in my dripping wet hair and sopping clothes. Continue reading →

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“Oh, Won’t You Take Me Home Tonight? Oh, Down Beside That Red Firelight, Oh You Gonna Let It All Hang Out, Fat Bottomed Girls You Make The Rocking World Go Round…” – Queen

Posted on February 9, 2011 by

Five minutes later, I was propped up on the dressing room table with my back against the mirror.

And that’s when it happened.

KNOCK! KNOCK! Continue reading →

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“She Said Any Way You Want It, That’s The Way You Need It, Any Way You Want It…” – Journey

Posted on February 8, 2011 by

Is it better to be the girl who broke up a fake couple and then ran, or the girl who broke up the fake couple and then stole the man? Continue reading →

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“Since I’ve Come On Home, My Body’s Been A Mess, And I Miss Your Ginger Hair And The Way You Like To Dress…” – Amy Winehouse

Posted on February 7, 2011 by

“Don’t you fucking judge me,” I growled as I moved closer to my prey. “Sleeping with two people does not a whore make. You, on the other hand, get around like a fucking record, so back the fuck off.” Continue reading →

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“I Want Your Love, And I Want Your Revenge, You And Me Could Write A Bad Romance…” – Lady GaGa

Posted on February 4, 2011 by

Each word hit me like a dagger. Fucking. Boyfriend. You have got to be kidding me! Boyfriend. Boyfriend? Fucking BOYFRIEND?!? Continue reading →

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“It’s A Beautiful Night, We’re Looking For Something Dumb To Do…” – Bruno Mars

Posted on January 27, 2011 by

We had both exchanged drunken “I like yous” during my birthday party a week before, and I’m pretty sure we would’ve had a drunken makeout session in the bathroom—that is, if I didn’t nearly pee my pants and kick him out. Continue reading →

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“Why Do You Build Me Up Buttercup, Baby Just To Let Me Down…” – The Foundations

Posted on January 26, 2011 by

In a business that’s all about go, go, go…sometimes there’s nothing worse than wait, wait, wait. Continue reading →

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“Guess This Means You’re Sorry, You’re Standing At My Door…” – Kelly Clarkson

Posted on November 9, 2010 by

I couldn’t help but think how strange it was that no one was getting sloppy drunk, making out with inappropriate partners, or otherwise proving that television news journalists are some of the most intense and jaded people in existence. Continue reading →

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