What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you at work? Maybe you forgot about a project and were called out during a staff meeting, accidentally sent an inappropriate e-mail to your boss, or got ridiculously drunk at the office Christmas party and ended up singing “Like a Virgin” karaoke. Well, while all of those are pretty bad…they’re nowhere near my most embarrassing moment—of being caught by my boss with my new boyfriend, pants around my ankles and dripping wet in the dressing room shower stall.
To this day (several years after the fact), I still have no idea how I managed to somehow justify this situation in my head, and march into the Executive Producer’s “office” (also known as the news conference room) ready for my face off with Julie. Granted, I had taken a few minutes to wring out my sopping wet clothes and dry my hair underneath the dressing room’s hand dryer. Then, sloshing in my wet shoes, I went to meet my fate.
Julie’s back was to me as I approached the conference room. Erik was already sitting down. He looked terrified. Crap, I thought, looks like I’m going to have to be the strong one here. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
“Sit down,” Julie said, her back still to me. I walked around the table to sit next to Erik, my shoes squishing out water every step of the way.
I made a point not to look at Erik, whose eyes were focused on his hands in lap. I sat down, flashed my bravest smile and said, “So what’s up?”
Julie looked at me, clearly stunned. She hadn’t been expecting me to make this difficult. “What were you doing in the dressing room?”
“I was taking a shower.”
“In your clothes?”
“I was trying to turn the water on, and it came at me full blast.”
“Why was Erik wet?”
“He came in to help me turn the water off.”
“Really?”
“Really,” I said. Holy crap, can I really pull this off?
“That’s the story you want to stick with?” Julie asked, tapping her pen on the table, clearly annoyed.
“That’s the only story there is.”
Julie looked at me, obviously not believing a single word I’d said. Little did she know, I was bound and determined not to go down without a fight. I had already hit my lowest point. There was nothing left to lose. After all, my boss had just seen me half-naked, mid…uh, make up with my new boyfriend (that the entire station thought I had stolen from someone else), and as soon as the station heard what happened—I was going to officially become the office skank. What else could go wrong? I’d get fired? Big deal.
I sat there staring at Julie, and she looked back at me for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, she took a deep breath, looked down at the table, and put down her pen. She was going in for the kill.
“Well…” she said, a very smug look coming across her face, “Erik told me a very different story.”
I stared at her, doing my best to hold my poker face.
“What do you think about that?” she asked, barely containing her smile.
“I think Erik was probably trying to cover for me. He knows the showers are for on-air talent only, and he didn’t want me to get in trouble for using them.”
“Why were you using them?”
“Because I was dirty.”
“You know you should shower at home,” Julie scolded. If she wasn’t going to get a confession, she apparently was going to reprimand me in some way.
“Yes, I know. I’m sorry.”
Julie let out a big sigh. Erik, who was still looking down at his hands, hadn’t moved the entire time. In fact, he looked like he was a heartbeat away from passing out.
“Erik,” Julie said, “you can go.”
I swear, Erik was out the door before Julie finished her sentence. To this day, I’ve never seen anyone move so fast.
“Are we done here?” I asked as I started to get up from my chair.
“No, we’re not. Sit back down,” Julie growled.
Oh shit, I thought, I got too cocky. Here’s where I’m going to get fired.
Luckily for me, Julie didn’t get the chance, because at that moment, my roommate/producer burst into the conference room.
“Breaking news!” she yelled. “Cara, I need you in the booth…NOW!”
I looked at Julie, and she nodded her head for me to go. I was safe…for now. Would I say thank you and leave with my head down? Nah, not my style.
Instead, I slowly stood up, straightened out my clothes and looked right into Julie’s eyes. “I love my job,” I said, as I flashed her a big grin and walked out the door.
But my victory was short-lived. As soon as I made it to the hallway, I knew that last statement was going to come back to haunt me. And boy, was I right.
